Zijihad

Ziji and eury were fighting, as she had attempted to stir shit regarding Steve Demello and eury and eury just thought she was pretty retarded. So eury made a post directed towards her in OT that helped Zijihad along.

Turns out Ziji was able and willing to read posts from a private forum that had information on her former friends personal lives. The Frievils had set up a fake private forum filled with salacious gossip and had a password leaked out like a day's worth of pee. What did Ziji do with that information? She makes cryptic posts about that crap in OT. It was no "Three Must Die", but eury thought it was hilarious so she decided to drop Ziji a line and see what came of it.

While eury was talking to Ziji about the Frievils, she was PMing and IMing with some of them about the situation and she was encouraged to continue feeding her "real life information". So eury created an "anti-Frievil" board that looked disastrous but did it's job… provided a private outlet for Ziji, eury, and some other people to cook up the demise of the Frievils.

eury gave Ziji real life names (AP is really Wally, Hwamf was really Brett), phone numbers (RR's phone number was 867-5309), sexual preferences AND deviances (Slimey was ho'ing it up with everyone, Hwamf was in the closet, etc.), relationship traumas — all sorts of information that she could potentially use as AMMO.

By this time, eury invited some other people to the board (MaryFkinSunshine, Chicaguapa, Shag, Midnight Prince, TRho… the latter to ssts along with eury and greatly help out in the soulless fuck department), and Ziji was talking about writing a codex. eury faked sick at first, because she was lazy, but got some of the Frievils to write horrible and shameful incidents about themselves so that eury could give it to Ziji as more AMMO! eury's also pretty sure that TRho wrote something that was pretty funny, but could be mistaken as eury has the tendency to be ADD and a drunken whore which causes her to forget certain things.

eury just forgot what she was typing about. fuckfuckfuck

Oh yeah! So by this time Trho, NAA, and eury were PM'ing and considering where to hold the big "REVEAL". eury thought Sweaty's would be good, since KF is a soulless fuck — but there's the chance that he would be distracted by Felicity tapes and accidentally ruin it somehow. Trho then suggested uberHoles, a home FILLED with soulless fucks, and it was thus agreed upon.

All of this took three days, not six months or a hundred Chew years or whatever people like to acclaim. Ziji wanted to get this done and over with, and couldn't wait to tell people that Khnum was an alcoholic slut and that Nonnie fucks bunnies (OK, that was true) and which poster was currently fucking who.

So the day arrives and eury doesn't post because she doesn't want to somehow fuck things up. eury is pretty sure that Shag and Mary suspected a trap (disclaimer: not to be confused with hypothetical trap), and so when she was being PM'd by Ziji, Shag, Mary, MP, and Chica, she just told them that she was sick and to post everything without her.

So Ziji posted what she believed to be real life information on a group of people and said funny stuff like "watch out for those who have gone silent… they could be PLOTTING" (paraphrased), and "Revenge is a dish best served cold" while the Frievils were playing it up, pleading for Ziji to see reason and to not post that Marty likes to fuck puppets while high on crack, etc.

When the "show" was over people were either really really ticked, really really laughing, or really really drunk (kat).

OK, this is getting really long… So um, someone coined "OWN YOUR EVIL" to the Frievils who were feeling bad about upsetting some friends of theirs and whatnot, eury thinks it was either TRho or uJ, and then squashthebeef wittily came up with the term from which to refer this whole sordid affair — "Zijihad" — and they all lived happily ever after until the following Tuesday when it was discovered that the twist was this all was true and that downy sees dead people.

You forgot about Red the Mole, ya dippy skank. He was the best part!

Motherfucker!! OK, OK.

Addendum: so eury created a nic called "RedtheMole" because Ziji wanted the Frievils to FREAK THE FUCK OUT… eury and Ziji then created really horrible poetry to strike fear into the hearts of the Furry Frievils From Ffffffff-another"F"wordgoeshereI'mtiredrightnow. See? I can't even do alliteration, much less poetry.

The poetry was even worse than that.

Some of the Frievils pretended to be scared of the poetry, some used it as course to find out wtf is leaking shit to such a horrible writer of poetry, and the rest talked about how much it sucked.

THERE. DONE, MISSY.

//**THIS VERSION IS EXQUISITE, MIMI. STOP BEING A FUCKER - YOU WERE ZERO-POINT-ZERO-ZERO PART OF THE ACTIVITIES.

I WAS VERY MUCH A PART OF THESE ACTIVITIES VIA PM & PART OF THE "PERSONAL INFO" WAS ABOUT ME

LOUD NOISES

It can't be stated often enough that squashthebeef coined the term "Zijihad"

Oddly enough, afterwards the Frievils were all cast in Rent (Everyone has AIDS!).

Hours spent
Chew lite - 3000
ziji - 60
Making Ziji cry - priceless

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License