The Secret Codex of the Spoiler Boards-Part I-The Beginning

The Secret Codex of the Spoiler Boards

by griftd ©

This is it. My personal history. It's all here, the way I remember it. At least as much as I can remember. If I leave something out that you feel is important or if you are not mentioned, then I apologize. You can just go write your own damned self-important autobiography.

This is of course told from my perspective, so it contains my view on life. A view that I am sure many would consider slanted. And they would be right. Because it's my personal view and those are always slanted. There are still some deep dark secrets that I will not reveal but I think that some of the things that I do talk about will shed at least a hint of clarity on some of the stranger events that have happened in this strange place.

A final note: It is well known that I am a member of the Ellipsiiis Brain Trust. The following is my story. It is not the EBT's story. Nor should it be contrued in any manner as having to do with anything regarding the EBT. The EBT will be mentioned but only as part of the overall story of EZ. My role as an admin here, despite the opinion of many, has nothing to do with my participation in EBT. This is the story of EZ. Not the story of any other board although all will inevitably be mentioned.

Finally, I owe many thanks to many people. Some foul. Some fair. Some are mentioned. Some are not. You know who you are.

Part I - The Beginning

In the beginning, there were the original Survivor Sucks message boards. In early February, they spawned the bastard child known as Survivor Sucks EZ board. Forever known in Survivor circles simply as EZ. To those that looked down an arrogant nose, it was known as the B board or even slEZy. It was a place filled with flame warriors, spammers and sleaze merchants. Unlike the original boards, it was mostly unmoderated, thus a largely Old West style environment took hold. It was in the chaotic maelstrom that I was born. My name is griftd. This is my story.

I lurked on the old boards during S1 and in the very early part of S2. I never registered mainly because I am lazy but also because I had already gone through the whole message board phase many years ago. It was fun to read, but I didn’t want to get caught up in all the drama again. It didn’t really matter, since both times registration was cut off fairly early.

Then the EZ board was born. It appeared as a harmless link under the old boards. Like many that are here now, I took the trip down that rabbit hole and landed in a wonderful and strange land. The forum titles appeared to be the same, but this new place looked nothing like the old place. There were also many new and strange creatures inhabiting these new boards. AtlantaFatMike, SmelliKimmi, vvicked, Worms Inc. Things were so strange that it almost overwhelmed the senses. Unlike the old boards, which seemed a bit like a dusty library, this place was like Disneyland’s It’s A Small World cranked out on mescaline. There were weird signatures. People had bizarre personal pictures. Flame wars started at the drop of a hat. It looked like everyone was having a pretty good time.

I couldn’t resist the lure of this strange and lurid place. I sent in my registration and the EZ board personality griftd was born on February 23, 2001. The first thing I did was head straight to the spoiler forum and try to stir up some trouble.

There was little spoiling going on. The show was only a few weeks old and with the old boards still working, the serious spoilers stayed in there efficient but plain little world. The EZ spoiler forums had some people that were really trying but most serious efforts were laughed at and mercilessly flamed. One thing that tempered some of the flames was the arrival of Gatormeatisyummy.

Gatormeatisyummy was a regular at the old SS boards and had made a very noisy exit from those boards just a short time before my own arrival. Having a seasoned spoiler poster in the Spoiler forum started to calm things down a bit and the bastard child known as EZ began having some early success. But even real spoiler success and the slightest hint of organization could not slow down the chaos. When darkness fell, the trolls and flamers ruled.

My registration was activated at about 11:00pm on a Friday night. With all the spoiler freaks safely in bed or out living a real life, the flame warriors donned full armor and began their nightly ritual of beating each other to a pulp. I had observed as a lurker for some time the main characters in the Spoilers forum. The four most vocal and abusive combatants were AtlantaFatMike, Vanillaslave, vvicked and SmelliKimmi. These folks could seriously throw down. I decided to see if I still had the magic touch and promptly set off a flame war with SmelliKimmi. It was monstrous fun and I knew that once again I was hooked in board land.

Continue reading in Part II

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