Death Of Valedictorian

Valedictorian sent an email to a poster, pretending to be someone else, claiming that Val had died in a car accident. With a little bit of detective work this was revealed to be a fraud. Hilarity ensued.

This drama is the source of the now-traditional cactus for any death thread. Chicaguapa posted that she was going to name her new cactus after Val.

This was probably not the first time somebody faked their own death to avoid meeting MP

Taken from Anderson Lounge:

I doubt you guys want an explanation, but the best I can do is tell you I
have been in and out of mental hospitals since 1995. I have been Bipolar I
since my late teens. That also contributed to my parents throwing me out.
The times when I seemed to disappear from the boards for awhile, I was
usually hospitalized. If Scott wants to check, they are Shepard Pratt and
North Harford Hospital Mental Floor. This really started during a prolonged
psychotic period. During those times, I do lose connection with reality. I
hate psycotic medications, but take all the rest I'm suppose to take. Since
Holley knows about such things, I take Depakote, Neurotin, and Wellbutrin. I
refuse to take the Zyprexa. I was never able to tolerate Lithium. Here are
the facts:

1. Most of my story is true, it just happened a couple of decades earlier than I said. The hustling was much filthier than I ever indicated.
2. Ted is a real person, and I meant him when I said I did. The facts about his family are true. Everyone is much older than I said.
3. I am dying of prostate cancer. I'm not sure how you found that out. I am nearing the end stage.
4. I did buy a car last week.
5. Ted told me to tell you the truth. I thought this would be easier for you. I was very wrong.

6. I retired from the Baltimore County Board of Education in 1999 due to my mental illness. I live on my disability pension and social security disability. I did try administration and hated it. I was an okay teacher.

7. The cancer has moved to my bones, so I can't sit up much. That is another reason I had to stop using the computer.

8. I did try a heterosexual marriage. It obviously didn't work out, but it did produce two children.

9. I do attend a Baptist church with Ted.

10. Of course, the address I gave you was real.

11. The pictures I showed you are actually two guys I know that live in Rosedale. The guy who's picture I used was 43 when the picture was taken.

I apologize because it's the right thing to do. I don't expect you to accept it

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